.: my daily struggle with alcohol addiction

Showing posts with label my daily struggle with alcohol addiction. Show all posts

Monday

Five Days Without A Beer

One day at a time is working to stop drinking. The urge is there every minute of every day that I am awake. It only takes one small weakness, but so far I haven't given in to the temptation. Every day I come so close to giving in, and buying a six pack. I have to convince myself to walk past the beer, and buy an energy drink instead.

Even though it has only been five days without a beer it feels like a huge accomplishment. It is the longest I have gone without beer in a very long time.

I can't say I have noticed anything different in how I feel. I just notice I have been sleeping more than I have slept in years. I have been sleeping 10+ hours a night. Is it boredom, or is it part of my body catching up on years of abuse?

I know quitting drinking is the best decision I have made in my life, but I know every day is going to be a struggle to not buy beer. Hopefully it will get easier as time goes on.

Friday

My First True Test

The past two days has been really tough passing up the beer aisle when leaving work. I really wanted to buy some. I made three trips back to the aisle, and each time I had to convince myself to not do it. It just didn't feel right leaving work without a six pack.

I ended up buying a cat toy for my cat instead. He loves it. It is one of the zhu zhu pets so he thinks it's alive. I don't think a real mouse would survive long in my house. My cat gets pretty violent when it comes to killing his fake mice, and birds.

This weekend is going to be my first true test. I will be watching college football games tomorrow, and than going to the Blazer game tomorrow night. I have set rituals I follow when I watch football, and when I go to the Rose Garden to watch the Blazers which involves drinking beer, and eating.

If I pull it off I will have overcome a huge temptation, and it will be one more day that I am sober.

Wednesday

My Daily Struggle With Alcohol Addiction

I am sitting here right now typing this post thinking about how I want to be drinking a beer right now. I don't even know why I drink beer. I just know I like too. I fight myself every day to stop, but it is too easy to keep drinking.

Beer has become part of my lifestyle. I have to drink beer no matter what I am doing. It seems more of a habit than me drinking to get a buzz. I don't think I even know what a buzz is any more. I have two phases of drinking. I feel like I need to drink more because I don't feel a buzz, and blacking out many hours after drinking to much thinking I couldn't get a buzz.

There is no happy medium. I go through a six pack of high alcohol 8.6%+ content microbrews, and usually have to go get another six pack to drink that extra one or two I think I need. I just don't really understand why I drink.

I rarely have hangovers so it probably makes it easier to drink every day. I just seem to make an excuse to drink. I could have a good day at work, a bad day at work, watching sports, team is winning, team is losing, or whatever. It is always a good time to drink beer.

Right now I am really, really craving a beer. Is it relaxing? Does it kill the pain? Why am I fighting the urge to drive to the store right now, and buy a six pack?

How much money do I waste every month on beer? Sadly I spend over $300+ a month on beer easy, and that is just beer at home. I always wonder where all my money goes, but when I sit down, and realize I spend $10 a day I soon realize where all my extra money is going.

I am going to try something new, and every day for the next month I am going to at least devote one post a day about my struggles. If you have been reading my blog the last few weeks than you know I am struggling actually with many different addictions. Luckily none of my addictions involve drugs.

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