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Wednesday

My Daily Struggle With Alcohol Addiction


I am sitting here right now typing this post thinking about how I want to be drinking a beer right now.  I don't even know why I drink beer.  I just know I like too.  I fight myself every day to stop, but it is too easy to keep drinking.

Beer has become part of my lifestyle.  I have to drink beer no matter what I am doing.  It seems more of a habit than me drinking to get a buzz.  I don't think I even know what a buzz is any more.  I have two phases of drinking.  I feel like I need to drink more because I don't feel a buzz, and blacking out many hours after drinking to much thinking I couldn't get a buzz.

There is no happy medium.  I go through a six pack of high alcohol 8.6%+ content microbrews, and usually have to go get another six pack to drink that extra one or two I think I need.  I just don't really understand why I drink.

I rarely have hangovers so it probably makes it easier to drink every day.  I just seem to make an excuse to drink.  I could have a good day at work, a bad day at work, watching sports, team is winning, team is losing, or whatever.  It is always a good time to drink beer.

Right now I am really, really craving a beer.  Is it relaxing?  Does it kill the pain?  Why am I fighting the urge to drive to the store right now, and buy a six pack?

How much money do I waste every month on beer?  Sadly I spend over $300+ a month on beer easy, and that is just beer at home.  I always wonder where all my money goes, but when I sit down, and realize I spend $10 a day I soon realize where all my extra money is going.

I am going to try something new, and every day for the next month I am going to at least devote one post a day about my struggles.  If you have been reading my blog the last few weeks than you know I am struggling actually with many different addictions.  Luckily none of my addictions involve drugs.   

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